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Posts Tagged ‘insomnia’

Sleepless

In Uncategorized on January 20, 2013 at 1:45 am

This post on The Dish got me thinking, as I sit awake at 1:19am, about what insomnia is to me. Why it is. My parents worked 3rd shift when I was growing up, yes, ever since I was a BABY. I feel I psychologically wake up at 9pm. Like I can’t go to sleep because the world is still humming, things are happening. I don’t like it that humans have to sleep. Such a waste of time.

Some of my best writing (not that this is good writing, this is hurried, apologetic, I-haven’t-posted-of-late writing) has come at 2am, 4am… a creative time. The more involved math problems make better sense late at night, when I’m half-lucid, and not as up-tight.

But then sometimes I hate being a sleepless person, rarely experiencing the morning, seeing calm morning water or hearing the birds in their full-morning frenzy; instead I wander through it all in a head-buzzing daze. Trade-offs. Early risers never know the dedication, the exciting onward push that gets you through a sleepless night. The late night snacks, the encouragement from whoever’s online to talk to, the buzzing of the streetlight outside the window (except on nights like tonight, when the buzzing is camouflaged by gusts of wind)… For me, sleeplessness is a chosen lifestyle, more about extending the day than it is about not being able to sleep.

No thanks, I’ll pass on the Ambien.

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